So I thought it was about time to let everyone know what happened.
It’s really simple.
Elizabeth felt she needed independence. Whether because of my obnoxious personality, or a desire to find who she is, or the stress of senior year, or a mix of all of that and more, she felt it was in her best interest to end the relationship now then try and make it work and find herself unhappy down the road married and us end in divorce.
I won’t lie. It’s extremely tough. I love her, and don’t regret the last three years we’ve spent together. I know I’m flawed but if for once in my life I’ll brag on myself, I’m a pretty loyal, devoted, and selfless boyfriend. I’m very giving, and that means that sometimes I have to give up my desire to be happy with her to let her be happy with herself. It’s not easy to let go of the first girl I can truly say I loved. So much so that given the chance I’d still be with her, but life doesn’t always let you have what you want.
I’m writing this so everyone has a glimpse into what is going on in my life.
I thought I had everything planned. Marry the girl of my dreams. Go explore the world. Have a family. But it’s just not time. One day I will but for now its my time to be me, to enjoy life, and to be still and know that everything will work out.
She was the best girl I’ve ever been around, but she won’t be the only one. There are wonderful people still for me to meet. It’s weird imagining who that might be but as time goes on, I’ll heal.
I can honestly say I didn’t see this coming. I can also honestly say I’m sure it’s more of my fault than I can think of. I’m sure somewhere I messed things up somehow. I don’t know what that is but it would be foolish of me to think you can go one week planning a wedding and the next week breaking up and it not be some of my fault. But I don’t regret a single minute of the last three years and I hope that a guy comes into her life that will make her more happy than I was able to. This is the first relationship I can honestly say I wish the best for her and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man she needed me to be.
But life goes on. So now that you have a glimpse at what has happened, pray for me. Pray for her. Pray we find what it is we need and that there are no regrets. I don’t believe anything can truly prosper without hard work, even complex things can be fixed through working through the situation rather than giving up. Pray we both work through these complex times and find ourselves better on the other side. It’s hard to be engaged to someone and lose them. I’ll have baggage that I’ll have to deal with in my next relationship. Pray I handle it well.